Back to reality

I used to spend a lot of time lost in my own thoughts; imagining scenarios that were quite unrealistic, and generally very negative.  I would spend perhaps an hour at a time dreaming up and living in a stressful scenario that didn't reflect the situation that I was actually in at the present moment.  Over time I have learned to recognise when I am in this unwanted dreamland before I spend too long there.

Last night I was cooking dinner.  It didn't take a whole lot of concentration so as I was stood there, watching over the cooking food my mind began to wander.  I wasn't really paying attention to anything in particular, so I didn't even notice my mind wandering.

My thoughts had turned to work - and how one of the projects I am working on isn't going entirely to plan.  In my mind I was explaining to my boss what was wrong.  The explaining went into a defensive rant, something along the lines of "All these problems aren't MY fault - I have been doing all I can, can't you see!?".  It wasn't until I could feel myself tense up that I realised my mind wasn't in a good place.

So I stopped.  I gently brought myself back to reality - the conversation with my boss wasn't real - it's never happened and never likely to happen (and certainly not a heated rant if it did ever happen!).  I looked again at the cooking food - this was reality.  My body un-tensed and once again I was relaxed.

If you find yourself suffering from either stress or negative thinking, I would recommend you begin to tune into your body to notice any physical sensations that occur at the same time (for me it is tensing up the shoulders, the face, and sometimes a feeling of tension inside the head).  Eventually you can use these physical sensations as a trigger to gently bring yourself back to reality, and perhaps consider the cause of the negativity.

It has taken me a while to learn this behaviour, but the length of time it takes me to notice the physical sensations has become shorter and shorter over time.  My goal is to eventually realise I'm having a negative thought before I even start to feel my body tense up, to be really aware of what I'm thinking.  For now it is an achievement I can bring myself back to reality before I've spent any considerable length of time with unnecessary, unwanted negative thoughts.