Just doing

Many of the resources I've read suggest that you should appreciate the small things, in order to “live in the moment” more often.  For example. if you’re drinking a coffee, just sit there and drink the coffee – do nothing else, think of nothing else, just do it and appreciate it for what it is.

Now this is something I've tried several times and not really found any true benefit from.  Generally I’ll do it for 10 seconds or so, and then my mind will wander and that will be it.  On the other hand, when I'm doing something that is very “in the moment” such as mountain biking, or playing guitar, it is very very easy to concentrate on that one thing, enjoying it, and thinking of nothing else.  For one thing, when playing guitar it is difficult to concentrate on something else!

But recently I have found that when I am doing some mundane task such as washing the dishes my mind may wander onto stresses at work or something else negative.  It is when I feel that trigger of a negative thought (a bit of tension in the face, or perhaps even in the brain) that I try to then just simply concentrate on the task in hand. 

I've found this technique very useful over the past few days to help dissipate a feeling that perhaps otherwise could have set me in a bad mood for the next hour or two. 

The link between using “the present moment” as a distraction from the negativity that has just been triggered is a much more powerful motivator to me than just “living in the moment” during some arbitrary time that I just happened to choose.  Otherwise, I’d probably be trying the technique at some point when I’d be bored, in the mood to be entertained, rather than settling down for some meditation.  If I use this technique during a spell when I'm feeling negative, then when my mind begins to wander, the trigger will repeatedly present itself, only to be repeatedly dissipated until there comes a point when I'm feeling fine again.

Although this probably is a type of meditation, I don't actually feel as if this is "meditating".  More as a useful tool to trigger awareness, and to take control of my stress and anxiety. 

Back to reality

I used to spend a lot of time lost in my own thoughts; imagining scenarios that were quite unrealistic, and generally very negative.  I would spend perhaps an hour at a time dreaming up and living in a stressful scenario that didn't reflect the situation that I was actually in at the present moment.  Over time I have learned to recognise when I am in this unwanted dreamland before I spend too long there.

Last night I was cooking dinner.  It didn't take a whole lot of concentration so as I was stood there, watching over the cooking food my mind began to wander.  I wasn't really paying attention to anything in particular, so I didn't even notice my mind wandering.

My thoughts had turned to work - and how one of the projects I am working on isn't going entirely to plan.  In my mind I was explaining to my boss what was wrong.  The explaining went into a defensive rant, something along the lines of "All these problems aren't MY fault - I have been doing all I can, can't you see!?".  It wasn't until I could feel myself tense up that I realised my mind wasn't in a good place.

So I stopped.  I gently brought myself back to reality - the conversation with my boss wasn't real - it's never happened and never likely to happen (and certainly not a heated rant if it did ever happen!).  I looked again at the cooking food - this was reality.  My body un-tensed and once again I was relaxed.

If you find yourself suffering from either stress or negative thinking, I would recommend you begin to tune into your body to notice any physical sensations that occur at the same time (for me it is tensing up the shoulders, the face, and sometimes a feeling of tension inside the head).  Eventually you can use these physical sensations as a trigger to gently bring yourself back to reality, and perhaps consider the cause of the negativity.

It has taken me a while to learn this behaviour, but the length of time it takes me to notice the physical sensations has become shorter and shorter over time.  My goal is to eventually realise I'm having a negative thought before I even start to feel my body tense up, to be really aware of what I'm thinking.  For now it is an achievement I can bring myself back to reality before I've spent any considerable length of time with unnecessary, unwanted negative thoughts.